|Best in Faux|
|Air date||August 12, 2008|
|Written by||Bruce Miller|
|Directed by||Paul Holahan|
| Preceded by|
"What About Bob?"
| Followed by|
"I Do Over"
|Cast | Transcript|
|Season 2||Season 4|
It's time for Eureka's annual robotic dog show, and the android canines are out in force. However, when sudden mysterious earthquakes shake Eureka, Sheriff Jack Carter might end up with a pure-bred disaster on his hands.
The scene opens with Jack pressuring her to take an accelerated physics class. Zoe doesn’t agree with him and feels that it is too much work. But Jack tries to convince her to do it. Zoe says that she wants to be a kid still. However Jack tells that if she doesn’t take the class, he ill make here quit Café Diem. Zoe leaves and Jack is accosted by Fargo’s dog. The restaurant is full of dogs! However, Jo tells Jack that they are lifelike robots. Jack suggests that they are making robot dog soldiers at Global Dynamics. Jo thinks his idea is a great idea. Allison and Stark enter arm in arm and they sit down to discuss the wedding. She tells that she has a lot to do and to buy a dress. Jo volunteers to go dress shopping with Allison and as she walks out she says that she likes weddings. Vincent is out of sorts when Allison has not asked for him to cater the reception. Stark chimes in and asks Vincent to cater the reception. Jack gets a call of a possible break in and he is excited to leave. They run into Carol Taylor and she’s got a dog named Fifi and it is a robot dog. She has been the winner 2 years in a row and is going to win again so she says. Carol is gloating when Anne Young comes with her dog. Anne is determined to win and brags about her dog. Sparks start flying off of Fifi and her head blows off. Anne doesn’t show any sympathy and Carol accuses her of sabotage. Eva stops by Henry who is getting organized and Henry wants to thank her.
Jo and Jack go to the Dr. Mandle who is mad that dog lunatics of Global Dynamics broke into his lab and says that they will do anything to win. Synthetic Mucus is the thing on the table that they want. Jack doesn’t know why. Dr. Mandle says that it can top any and all airborne pathogens from going into the body. Mandle thinks that the mucus is wanted by the lunatics so they can create a more realistic dog nose. However, there is no sign of a break in. Mandle tells that if the wrong beaker would have been broken then the mucus would be everywhere. He demonstrates with a miniature volcano. Jo and Mandle exit and he tells Jack not to touch anything. But the ground starts shaking and the mucus beaker falls. Jack is covered in mucus. Jo and Mandle respond and they find Jack in green goo. Mandle is mad but Jo thinks it is hilarious. Jack tells that there was an Earthquake. But they didn’t feel it. However, Jack goes to Allison mucus and all and she says that Eureka never has earthquakes. Eva wants to know why Jack is not finding out about the robot dog death. He calls the dogs toys and both Allison and Eva take offense. Allison feels that they have lead to scientific breakthroughs and Eva says that they sell for a lot on the market. Jack complains of the case that he has to investigate. Stark enters and tells that he has to talk to Carter about the earthquake. Allison leaves and Stark tells that he just wanted to get Jack alone. He needs a favor and the two men got to Global Dynamic’s computer core and Stark brags about the computer and says that is the most powerful. Stark gets Fargo and the woman who runs the computer core says that diamonds store and transmit data super-fast! The woman laughs.
Stark has Fargo by the neck and Fargo says hello to Tracy and Fargo tells that she has helped dog competitors but Tracy tells that she is not helping anyone this year. Jack wants to know he is there and Stark says that Tracy is giving Stark on of the logic diamonds to give to Allison as a wedding gift. Jack has to sign it out. Fargo tells that with Fifi dead, he might have a chance to win. Jack questions Fargo about the earthquake and he too says that it is impossible in Eureka. But he tells that Jack needs to go to Dr. Hood, a retired geologist. Jack meets Dr. Hood and he claims that it is very slim that Jack felt an earthquake and that Eureka is built on fault free land. He shows a map and shows Jack the seismic activity around but not in. Jo and Jack meet up and she tells that Carol is refusing to give up the remains of Fifi for the “dogtopsy”. Jo tells that there are no earthquakes in Eureka. Like if on cue, an earthquake happens. The earthquake is a big one. But the earthquake claim is shot when Dr. Hood and his underground tunnel machine comes to the surface. He is happy and tells that there is something that is going to blow. To escape the dog show sabotage, he directs traffic to avoid the pothole that is in the middle of the city.
Allison walks up to Dr. Hood and he tells here that rocks are under the Earth releasing invisible electromagnetic energy. He says that there is a pocket of molten rock down there. Jack is surprised and asked if it is a volcano. Dr. Hood tells Jack that you can only feel it if you are standing directly under it. Allison tells that Global Dynamics will look into it and for Dr. Hood is to stay out of his digging machine. Allison thinks that Dr. Hood is crazy and refuses to evacuate the town. Jack is assigned to keep an eye on Dr. Hood.
Henry is helping Zoe with her Physics class work and teaches her about the frequency that can melt copper. Jack enters and touches the wavelength and it hurts him. He tells Henry that he has to tell Dr. Hood that no one believes him and leaves. But they hear a loud sound and they find Dr. Hood drilling in the middle of Café Diem. Jack now agrees with Allison on the crazy part and tells Dr. Hood to go home and that Global Dynamics will handle everything. Feeling defeated Dr. Hood leaves. Henry meets up with Eva and she tells that she wants to put a hotel at an abandoned site. She wants to have him test it for radiation levels to make sure that the guests won’t get sick. Anne bumps into Jack and tells that she had nothing to do with the death of Fifi. She tells that she wanted to win against Fifi too. Anne wants to prove that her dog is superior. But when Jack plays fetch with her dog, it explodes. Jack tells Fargo as he is walking up to take Anne’s dog Thunder’s remains and examine Fifi as well. He thanks Jack graciously.
Allison is trying on the dress and it is a self-fitting dress that is tailored with a remote control. Jo asks Allison if she could put on the dress. But there is another “earthquake” and Allison snaps at the woman and demands she gets out of the dress to yell at Dr. Hood again. But the remote stops working and she storms off in the dress. She and Jack arrive at Dr. Hood’s site and she yells at Jack for not watching Dr. Hood closely. Dr. Hood jokes with Allison about the dress and tells that he was at his work station while the earthquake happened. She gives Dr. Hood 30 seconds to explain. As he is explaining Jack and Allison are talking about the dress. Dr. Hood tells that he is waiting for a mud volcano to erupt and as if on cue the volcano erupts right where they are standing. They are all covered except for Jack and Allison’s dress is ruined. Turns out Dr. Hood was right! He is making the orders for the Global Dynamics team and Stark shows up commenting on Allison’s dress. Stark and Allison believe that Dr. Hood started the whole thing to get into control again. Jack goes and investigates the dog deaths and Fargo tells that logic diamonds were found in both Fifi and Thunder’s processors and that it is a breach in National Security. Fargo tells that he has already questioned Carol and Anne and that they are denying. Jack tells to leave the investigating to him.
Jack and Fargo visit Tracy who tells that they are logic diamonds but that they did not come from her lab. The diamonds are codeless. It is possible that they came from another country. Jack finds Allison trying to cut out of her dress and he searches for the unlock button. As Jack located the micro-lock on the dress Allison apologizes to Jack for not going with him on the earthquake. She tells that she is stressed over everything. Jack finds the lock and Allison barely catches it before it falls. The two lock eyes and share a moment. She tells that they have not found the magma pocket and that 88% chance that it could be man-made. Henry is with Eva still and has found a lot of radiation. Henry says that he can run more tests but Eva tells that they will build the hotel somewhere else. Henry sees through her and tells that he is not good at keeping secrets. Jack goes up to Dr. Hood and Dr. Hood has not found the magma pocket yet. He asks about the diamonds and reads them on a liquid chromatograph that will tell Jack the origin. They were mined in Eureka. Jack, Dr. Hood, and Jo go to the Coal mine that is in Eureka. But when they turn on the generator, there is a ton of logic diamonds. There is a wave generator that is similar to Zoe’s and Henry’s miniature one. The wave machine pins Dr. Hood and Jack saves him by putting the axe through it. Whoever is making the diamonds is making the magma pocket. Jack has a clue. They got to Tracy and she admits that she was the one who is doing it. She put the diamonds in Fifi and Thunder as a test but it went wrong. However, when Jack mentions that she made a volcano, she is surprised. The generator has stopped but it is going to erupt any moment. Eva wants to evacuate the town but Allison doesn’t think that it will affect the town. Jack asks if they could drill in it and puncture it, but it is Allison who figures out that they could set off charges in the Earth and make it explode in the lake. They still don’t know where the lava pocket is!
Jack recommends that they rebuild Fifi and have her nose and the help of Super Mucus from Dr. Mandle, and have her sniff out the magma. Stark and Jack get in the tunnel machine and take off with the explosives. Above them methane vents are shooting off and Dr. Hood is loving every minute of it. In the tunnel machine, Fifi gets the trail and Jack stops the machine. They get out and investigate. They find the pocket and it starts to come inside the tunnel. The explosives are not needed. They all jump back in and tunnel for their lives to the lake with the magma behind. They exit and the lava is now pouring into the lake. The town is suffering from the steam clouds and Allison suggests that Stark and Jack team up more. Dr. Hood tells that the fancy life is not for him. Fargo walks by with a Best in Show trophy and his dog pees on Jack’s leg. Apparently Fargo cheated and used a real dog and cheated the contest. Jack finds Henry in his garage and asks about the meeting with Eva and him. Henry tells that he found a special type of radiation that has not surfaced until now. He tells Jack that he doesn’t hold secrets anymore. Jack returns home and S.A.R.A.H pressures him to pay the bills and work out. Zoe enters and is beat from studying her new accelerated physics class. Jack tells her to just do her best. They order pizza and Jack says he is proud of her.
Stark: Shut up, Carter, there was no earthquake. I need a favor.
Carter: And that's how you ask? WHO RAISED YOU!?!
Allison: We're sinking zero-balance P-wave detectors all along the ridge.
Stark: I re-tasked the geo satellites to look for ground deformations.
Carter: Sounds good! What's all that gonna tell us?
Stark: Nothing. We just like sounding smart.